Proof My Car Hates Me

Is it just me or has Starbucks gotten a little… creepy lately?

This morning was one of those rare but wonderful mornings where I had time to go to Starbucks before work. I headed over to the one near my office, a different location than normal. I order my grande skinny vanilla late and pulled up to the window. The young guy working it popped his head out and said, a little too eagerly, “Hi! I believe I’ve seen you here before!”

I haven’t been to this Starbucks in months. He must have me confused with someone else.

“Oh, nope, not me.”

“Why do I feel like I’ve seen you in a different car?” He continued, as if I’d agreed with his previous statement.

Smile. Shake head. “This is my only car, and, really, I haven’t been here in, like… months.”

“Did you just buy it recently?” he asked, again ignoring my previous statement.

“Nope, I’ve had it for a while.”

“Do you ever drive a different one?”

Ok, Starbucks Guy, this is getting old and a little bit creepy. “No, this is the only car I drive.”

“I feel like you should be driving a different one.”

Yeah, me too. Now where’s my coffee?

Creepy Starbucks Guy leaned out the window and handed me my latte. I snatched it from his hands in a, ‘that’s mine! Don’t touch!’ kind of grab, ready to floor the gas and peel out. He started talking again, probably saying ‘What kind of cars do you like? I like red ones. Have you ever driven a red car before?’ when I slammed the car into drive, nodding a smile, and punched the gas.

My car died.

Of all the times for my car to die, and it chooses this one. My getaway was ruined. Creepy Starbucks Guy’s eyes widened and I waited for him to say “I really feel like you should be driving a different car”.

Yeah, me too, bud. Me too.

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About Unladylike Behavior

I’m a 24-year-old living oxymoron, an adventurous bookworm who loves to dress up and play in the dirt. I grew up in a small town in the wine country of California, population 3,000, moved to Sacramento in 2010, lasted 6 months before I moved to a small town on the outskirts of Sacramento area, population 2,000. I write about my life with my own brand of humor. Some would look at the events I write about as mundane. I, however, look at these day-to-day happenings as humorous, wonderful little gifts just waiting to be polished.
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5 Responses to Proof My Car Hates Me

  1. Ahh.. I hate it when a swift getaway is ruined!!

  2. Carissa says:

    What a day! That sucks! The last time I went to Starbucks a couple weeks ago I wondered if they gave their employees some special coffee to drink. They all seemed a bit too something!

  3. Cara says:

    Hilarious! I will never again buy a Volkswagen. I remember my CD player would always stop working when my AC was on in my Jetta… but that seems like a mild inconvenience compared to your mishap! It also sucks when people talk to you just because they feel like they have to.

  4. Alicia says:

    I want to laugh and simultaneously hug you. Thankfully the Starbucks that I frequent knows that I’m not into small talk. They say hello, hand me my drink, and bid me farewell.

  5. lexy3587 says:

    Haha… super awkward small-talk. I don’t think I’ve ever had a random coffee shop worker grill me before i get my beverage!

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