Dirty Little Secrets

This is my confessional post. Come on, you know you have stuff to ‘fess up to, too.

I don’t mind dropping $180 on a nice pair of jeans, but I buy my bras at Target.
Whenever I see that $60 price tag I think, ‘Ok, it’s pretty and all… but it’s underwear!’

Honestly… I don’t care if it’s organic or not.
If it looks yummy and it’s cheap, I’m buying it.

I could drink champagne every day.
In fact, there was a period where I did just that. I don’t remember much of it… but I think it was fun.

I’m terrified that when the day comes for me to have children I won’t be able to get pregnant.
I think I’ve read too many heart-wrenching People magazine articles where women come down with one rare condition or another and can’t have babies.

I love cream cheese.
Whenever I order a bagel and they hand me that mini-cup of cream cheese I always smile and say, “I’ll have two, please”, but really I’m thinking “ME NEEDS MORE CREAM CHEESE!!” When are they going to come out with a jumbo tub of cream cheese for the other spread-lovers like me?

I don’t like Raley’s.
Reason being: I went to Raley’s to buy Zack a bottle of champagne as we were celebrating something. I couldn’t find my license so I grabbed my passport. The cashier, who just so happened to be the manager on duty, was extremely rude to me when I handed her my passport as ID. She rolled her eyes and said ‘I can’t accept this’ and thrust my passport back towards me, like I was trying to pull one over on her. She was very loud about it, and everyone around turned to stare at me as I tried to explain myself. She didn’t want to hear it and once again informed me in a booming voice that I couldn’t use that as ID. Come on, lady, what teenage kid buys a $40 bottle of champagne? Note: It wasn’t the rejection I had a problem with. If it’s their policy, it’s their policy. The thing I had a problem with was the way the manager treated me in front of other people.

I have the sense of humor of a 5th grader.
Fart joke make me laugh. In fact, the act of farting makes me laugh.

These make me laugh, too:


About Unladylike Behavior

I’m a 24-year-old living oxymoron, an adventurous bookworm who loves to dress up and play in the dirt. I grew up in a small town in the wine country of California, population 3,000, moved to Sacramento in 2010, lasted 6 months before I moved to a small town on the outskirts of Sacramento area, population 2,000. I write about my life with my own brand of humor. Some would look at the events I write about as mundane. I, however, look at these day-to-day happenings as humorous, wonderful little gifts just waiting to be polished.
This entry was posted in Funny and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Dirty Little Secrets

  1. Nice!

    I will never pay more than $35 for a pair of jeans. I always wait until big sale days. And I typically get my bras at Winners (Canada’s version of TJ Maxx) because… really? $60? Hells naw!

  2. The way the mgr. at Raley’s treated you infuriates me! If we had one around here, I’d boycott it.
    Invisible bike… still LOLing.

  3. Jeanette says:

    You have a great sense of humor just like your dad.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s